Sunday, January 23, 2011

You expect to fun run and live? Pathetic!

"In 2011, a crap homosexual unit was sent to 00 by a queer need for sec for a Hulkageddon event. These fags promptly headed from Seyllin to the Orvolle jump to null sec. Today, still destroyed and podded, they survive as soldiers of sucking cock. If you have a penis, and no one else can suck it, and you can find them, maybe you can hire the GAY-TEAM.

'General Tso's suck big dick
They take loads on the face
And will take it in the butt
General Tso's suck at EVE
If you call them (if you call them)
They will gladly suck on your dick
They'll open their ass and take it in the butt.'"

Enough of that. 

So, we had a fun run. Big woop. Wanna fight about it? We jumped into PF thinking that all doom was going to rain down. We were more than surprised when nothing happened. There was no gate camp. We decided to stay and rat a bit between PF and FDMLJ, and in awe we realized there was no blob headed our way. Too bad.

So, I, the supreme commander, directed the fleet to head all the way to fountain. 26 jumps that turned gay as we entered. Our small phalli glimmered in the light as we raped those damn Serpentis from every system. "Fuck your chains!" we shouted, as the puny battleships fell to their knees. Not one was too tough for our might. Little did we know a Maelstrom was following us.

About 16 jumps to our destination, as we came out of warp to the next gate, a Maelstrom 150km out targeted Harbinger. Although there is no live footage from the event, I will demonstrate what happened in a picture.


I must mention, somewhere along the line, our shitty fleet warped in on a HAC. It was in such awe of our shitness, that he decided to self-destruct. A wise decision, for we all would of been dead had he decided to engage.


Leaving that queer behind, we run away with our tail between our legs. Local residents now alerted, we were being chased. We get to about 10 jumps to the final destination, and after waiting for a drunk JW, a half dozen stealth bombers launch their jizz-load towards us. We were doomed.


Our 14 man fleet was reduced to 11 in 6 jumps. After telling JW to stop dragging ass, we collectively (by collectively I mean JUST ME) decided to leave him behind and proceed with the quest of ringing the bell. What happens when you're a drunk JW that drags ass? I think we all know...


We reached our destination, down to 10 members. Some queer named Salid checks D-Scan only to see an EREBUS!!! Well, we had to go conquer this mighty beast, so we warp to the POS where it was located. The POS, a very intelligent creature, decides not to waste its time engaging our SHITTY fleet. Even after attacking it, it tells us to fuck off, but fears wasting any ammo on our CRAP VEXORS.

I will now caption what happened in pictures, because my chubby fingers are tired of typing!





MORTAL OF STORIEE?

DARK DRIFTER IS HOMOSEX

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