Saturday, February 12, 2011

I am Jade, hear me troll.

What happens when you talk to Jade?





CANfUSHIN1!!

Jade Elaira > Hello fellow capsuleer!
Charles Issier > yes
Charles Issier > i feel as if ur about to come out of warp and kill me
Charles Issier > where is ur leader
Jade Elaira > How are you today, on this fine celestial night?
Charles Issier > great about ur leader
Jade Elaira > I am no where near you.
Charles Issier > ok wheres ur leader
Jade Elaira > He is not here right now, but I currently help run the corporation.
Charles Issier > ohhhh
Charles Issier > ...
Charles Issier > that cant help me
Jade Elaira > What may I do for you today, pod pilot?
Jade Elaira > Why not, may I ask?
Charles Issier > cause the owner of this corp is my history teachers brother
Jade Elaira > I am more than willing to help you to the best of my abilities.
Charles Issier > why do u sound like a droid from starwars haha
Jade Elaira > So I have heard. Training through capsuleer school, I see.
Charles Issier > mhm so do u guys have me on scanner right now
Charles Issier > ik u do
Jade Elaira > Don't you hail from the planet of Massachusetts?
Charles Issier > haha
Jade Elaira > I'm no where near Seyllin at this moment.
Charles Issier > yes
Jade Elaira > I, myself, arrived in EVE from Boston.
Charles Issier > oh the magestical land of boston
Charles Issier > so how why did u contact me if u werent in system
Jade Elaira > A great leader told us stories of battles against the Serpentis forces. He also proclaimed the existent freedoms of being a Capsuleer. It is wonderful in New Eden. It is less Dark than Boston!
Jade Elaira > Huntin4Cloud9 referred you to me.
Charles Issier > oh so u guys knew i was tryign to go to that private station of ur enemies?
Jade Elaira > Private Station of our Enemies?
Jade Elaira > I am confused. I have no knowledge of what you speak of.
Charles Issier > whatever is in ur sytem like the roden center and the serpentis drug outlet
Jade Elaira > Oh, the Roden Center is owned by the Roden Shipyards Corporation. They are manufacturers of certain Frigates and Shuttles.
Charles Issier > ohh i see and the other one
Jade Elaira > The Serpentis Drug Outlet is a local hive of scum. It is not a Station, and I would beware of the Serpentis Pirates that abode there.
Charles Issier > oh okk so who are u constantly warring with can u send me a link to that corp
Jade Elaira > My loyalties fall with the fair drone manufactures, the CreoDron Corporation.
Jade Elaira > We do not constantly war. We have been involved in many War Declarations, however.
Charles Issier > do u have a corp that are ur mortal enemies
Jade Elaira > Our Enemies? Yes. The Serpentis Corporation.
Charles Issier > i ment a player owned corp
Jade Elaira > They killed my family when the EVIL Cormack Vaaja Executed Order 69.
Charles Issier > ur family?
Jade Elaira > Yes
Charles Issier > cool i guess
Jade Elaira > I am Jade Elaira of the Elaira Dynasty
Jade Elaira > I refuse to use the title "Princess" now. Ever since that haunting day.
Charles Issier > so is it true that if i go to an asteroid belt ur corp will track me there and waste me into space dust
Charles Issier > but they wont pod me cause ur saving ur sec for hulkageddon
Jade Elaira > If you are deemed an ally to the Serpentis.
Charles Issier > no ill just get wasted cause ur corp  hates miners
Jade Elaira > Miners are allies to the Serpentis Corporation
Charles Issier > really
Jade Elaira > Yes, Capsuleer.
Charles Issier > how so
Charles Issier > ?
Jade Elaira > We have sacrificed the blood and ashes of our ancestors, formed into the rocks that inhabit the asteroids of Gallente Federation Space. It is an old tradition in New Eden, and because you harvest said Ore, you are defiling our Family History.
Charles Issier > oh
Charles Issier > interesting
Charles Issier > so what are u flying right now
Charles Issier > scratch that last one
Charles Issier > are you aware that thursday night i was held captive here
Charles Issier > if i had left the station i was docked i would have been oblinerated
Jade Elaira > Like I said, I am a loyalist of the CreoDron Corporation. I fly one of their staple ships, the Ishkur.
Jade Elaira > No, I am not aware of that.
Charles Issier > well i was
Charles Issier > it was most unplesant
Jade Elaira > How unfortunate. There is no Concord intervention in Seyllin, for it is low security.
Jade Elaira > I would imagine.
Charles Issier > ik that is why it is low sec but if they were to kill me in my pod it would have been an even lower sec
Jade Elaira > Such a horrible experience you encountered, almost straight out of Capsuleer School. That brings back haunting memories for me.
Charles Issier > most unpleaseant indeed but i mustnt dwell on this
Jade Elaira > My parents cried in horror as Cormack violated their innocence. My mother, Jon Gol...
Charles Issier > interesting
Jade Elaira > The Bonny Family name was bestowed such a vile title that day.
Charles Issier > really
Jade Elaira > My father, Lord Rimb Jomb Elaira, struck down by a hybrid bombardment...
Charles Issier > call of lord rectanus
Jade Elaira > A horrible fate.
Charles Issier > yes
Jade Elaira > What is Rectanus doing on this night?
Charles Issier > he stocked me throgh a stargate then locked me then after i said that he left
Jade Elaira > He obviously sees your loyalty to the Serpentis.
Charles Issier > how
Charles Issier > im not
Charles Issier > i dont even mine
Jade Elaira > His lover, Huntin4Cloud9, patrol that area.
Jade Elaira > He informed me that was not the case.
Jade Elaira > Those strapping young lads are an honorable duo.
Charles Issier > what was i doiing rong
Jade Elaira > He told me he witnessed you raping our lineage.
Charles Issier > what lineage
Jade Elaira > The Sardaukar Lineage.
Charles Issier > what did i do to that
Jade Elaira > You harvested Jaspet.
Charles Issier > im in an atron with both high slots fitted with turrets not miners
Jade Elaira > Maybe he saw wrong, but I do, however, trust him more. You are but a new capsuleer.
Charles Issier > but i do only have rail guns attacked to my ship
Jade Elaira > As you know, I am not there to witness such.
Charles Issier > but still
Jade Elaira > Maybe you should contact your teacher, he could be an open door into this corporation.
Jade Elaira > You will have to prove yourself, however.
Jade Elaira > Have you contacted him, yet? He doesn't frequent Seyllin
Charles Issier > well since he is my teacher i can not join
Jade Elaira > Jinkinss is your teacher, correct?
Jade Elaira > Oh, well that is a situation between you both, I assume. Not my business. Sorry I asked.
Charles Issier > i honestly dont know he wont telll me that i only indirectly talk to him through his brother
Jade Elaira > Interesting.
Charles Issier > yes
Jade Elaira > Well I hope I didn't reveal his identy. Please do not tell him that I did so, if I happened to.
Charles Issier > it wont matter he wouldnt talk to me anyway and this isnt him
Charles Issier > he told me when he started playing eve
Jade Elaira > It is his current clone, he had to biomass his old self.
Charles Issier > ohh i see
Jade Elaira > So, is there anything else I may provide for you? I must get back to studying this local Nebula and its relation to the recent Sansha Incursions.
Charles Issier > attack?
Jade Elaira > Please restate your question. I do not comprehend what you are trying to relay to me.
Charles Issier > are u investigating all of those abductions
Jade Elaira > That I am.
Charles Issier > so ur in the militia
Jade Elaira > No sir. Private Corporation are the main defense against Sansha Kuvakei and his brainwashed militia.
Charles Issier > oh
Charles Issier > oh btw lord whatever killed me
Jade Elaira > Did you not respond to his ransom?
Charles Issier > i did but i did not have enough
Jade Elaira > It is a show of good faith that you are not a mindless drone of the Serpentis Corporation.
Jade Elaira > How unfortunate
Jade Elaira > How many credits occupy your data card?
Charles Issier > 6 million
Jade Elaira > Would you like to increase that, in a quick, seamless moment?
Charles Issier > idk how
Jade Elaira > Well I have a personal test of Capsuleers' Psyche.
Charles Issier > ok
Jade Elaira > As a sign of trust, you must send me your 6 million isk. When the transfer is complete, I will then send you 10 times back, or 60 million isk, in return.
Jade Elaira > Are you interested?
Charles Issier > no its a scam
Jade Elaira > I assure you, with all the faith I can send you, that it is not. I would never betray a fellow Capsuleer.
Charles Issier > its ok ur whole corp  is scammers
Jade Elaira > I am horribly displeased with such negative comments directed towards my honorable Corporation, Sardaukar Merc Guild.
Jade Elaira > Passing lies... You really are a Serpentis goon, aren't you?!
Jade Elaira > Your group killed my FAMILY!
Jade Elaira > HOW DARE YOU
Jade Elaira > EXPLAIN YOURSELF!
Charles Issier > umm okay
Charles Issier > ur corp is filled with scammers since i already have been and ur all griefers
Charles Issier > there u go
Jade Elaira > LIES
Jade Elaira > HORRIBLE LIES
Charles Issier > no
Charles Issier > truths
Jade Elaira > You are a brainwashed goon, controlled by the EVIL RAPIST known only as Cormack Vaaja!
Charles Issier > idk who the fuck that is
Charles Issier > lol he raped ur mom
Jade Elaira > Go join the Amarr, you filthy Serpentis. The Federation will hear about this treachery.
Charles Issier > ok
Charles Issier > will they care
Charles Issier > noo
Jade Elaira > FOR THE FEDERATION
Jade Elaira > FOR LUMINAIRE
Jade Elaira > FOR SEYLLIN I
Charles Issier > ok
Jade Elaira > DOWN WITH THE SERPENTIS
Charles Issier > its only a game calm down
Jade Elaira > CORMACKS NAME WILL ONLY BE REMEMBERED BY HIS TOMBSTONE!
Charles Issier > what is wrong with u
Jade Elaira > YOU WILL SUFFER THE SAME FATE AS MY MOTHER AND FATHER. YOUR SCREAMS WILL HAUNT YOUR CHILDREN.
Charles Issier > cool
Charles Issier > they will love it
Jade Elaira > How can you live with yourself?
Jade Elaira > How!?
Charles Issier > cause
Charles Issier > im a beast
Charles Issier > how can u live with ur self and not commit suicide
Jade Elaira > I hope your corpse rots after you overdose on Crash!
Jade Elaira > YOUR CAPSULE WILL BE TURNED TO DUST
Charles Issier > i hope u get burned alive inside ur ship because a steam pipe brakes
Jade Elaira > My layers of fat protect me!
Charles Issier > good
Charles Issier > i hope u go bankrupt
Jade Elaira > /emote slams her chubby feet on the ground.
Jade Elaira > I did not have a sex change to be treated as a little boy!
Jade Elaira > I AM A WOMAN
Jade Elaira > HEAR ME ROAR
Charles Issier > eww
Jade Elaira > You nasty egger. You are a tainted soul!
Charles Issier > ur gross
Jade Elaira > Such petty names.
Charles Issier > even tho ur a guy
Jade Elaira > Not any more.
Charles Issier > no ur a guy
Jade Elaira > You wish.
Charles Issier > sure

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