Wednesday, April 27, 2011

STARDATE: 27/04/2011 - 1634A
LOCUST SIGNATURE: seyllin comms node A-31
CERIBERAL STATUS: disconnected - docked CREODRON station

well today has been fun and i have only just awoken from my slumber. where should i begin??


well lets see. i started my day as i always do, and undocked in my CHEETA class covert ops frigate and began my scans looking for the local lowlifes (SERPENTS)
insted i found a non sanctioned drone hord, needless to say i left that well alone.

more importantly i found this:

a WH to lawless space!!! i imedietly geared up to take the fight to whom ever owned the exit system. i chose my TENGU class stratigic cruiser to lead this assault in to null sec.


well the system apeared to be empty of all life but on closer inspection i noticed that there was soverenty infastucture in place and that the system was teaming with SANSHA SLAVES !!!!!! (not an incursion people) there was numerus sansha signatures in space

last count was:

2x sanctums
6x haven (1 cleared)
2x forsaken haven (boath cleared)
3x hidden hub (1 cleared)
6x hub (3 cleared)
1x forsaken hub (cleared)
8x forlorn ralley point (2 cleared)
2x sansha 10/10 dead complexes
1x gravametric site (omber deposit guarded by rouge drones)
2x WHs (one to sleeper space class 5, and one to seyllin)

in the haven i noticed a new class of sansha BS that had strange gun parings!!!

never the less i dispached these new hulls and mas hansomly rewarded by concord with isk for my indevers

i totaly raped face in there.

i was finaly forced to leave when the local node spiked to 30 from just myself.
ships on scan at my departure was:

3 archon class carriers
1 avatar class titan
2 nyx class MOMs
arroeted BC/BS hulls
2 heavy interdiction spec cruisers
and 2 intercepter spec frigits

i escaped with my dignity and my ship


END PERSONAL LOG 27/04/2011-1716

Friday, April 22, 2011

The End of the Crusades

For fuck's sake...

The wars have come to an end. We emerged overall victorious from the combined 4 Alliance conflict.

We did an awesome job simply annihilating Shark's corp/Alliance. The PEW guys were an all-around good group to fight against, and we struck quicker than their neutral RR could involve themselves. My glorious leadership brought us to tremendous victory in that war, commanding our RR Vexor fleets with absolute precision. One particularly glorious engagement involved warping our frigates to the PEW staging station exit in Mets, where we (mostly I) managed to get an enemy Drake significantly far off station via proper fleet management and coordinated effort (commanded by yours truly), and killed it while their Alliance stood in the safety of the undock.

We managed to lose quite a few ships to The 0rphanage, in their typical find-the-noobs-that-can't-fight-back-when-we-are-bored-camping-Jita style. Most notably, they (I mean one guy in a Hurricane) killed BCSUPREME in his mission Mega, which was shittily fit as most his ships. He was so butthurt, and massively overestimated his PVP experience/skill and got his ass kicked a second time in a "PVP" Myrmidon, which was just as awfully fit.

Anyway, this caused him to rage from the Alliance, complaining about something to do with not being able to afford ships (fitting T1 on T1 cruisers and frigates has been working so far in the campaign, not sure how this argument stands up at all), then later changed his story to something about PLEX. But anyway, Salid (our Landlord), contacted him about prices for renting POS space in Ane (since that's where his POS is) with the obvious looming threat that we would crush it if he didn't comply. He came running back, first attempting to talk his way into the Alliance when the wars were over, but I made sure he understood we aren't a holding Alliance for freeloaders that just want "blue" status to roam in Seyllin, and fair-weather participants aren't welcome. He changed his tune, and is now back with us.

We never managed to kill a single Ad0pt ship, as they require a large amount of time to bait and properly destroy their ships, since they flee at the first sign of a fair fight, probably because most of their craft are fit only to lock within seconds and gank haulers on undocks of major trade hubs or on the hauling choke points in Deltole and Uedema.

The other mercenary Alliance we didn't think we'd see showed up a day or two before Shark accepted our final terms of surrender (which I'll get to later). A Snatch Victory member passed through Dodixie during one of our camp-fest of Shark's corp, almost causing me to become slightly startled upon seeing the Abaddon on the Auvergne gate in Dix. We pursued the target into the system, and within about 15 minutes he undocked. We were full aware that there was a big spike of his Alliance mates into local, but we're used to coming up against horrendous odds, mostly because my ballsy leadership demands top performance from my inept Alliance members. Generally I'm disappointed, but this time the assholes came through.

Trust me, it surprised me, too. Anyway, the dude didn't manage to kill any of us (thanks entirely to my glorious strategy and fleet leadership), and we (I) pwned his ass before his fleet showed up and wiped us out.

We then retreated to refit in the Dix, where we then got into ANOTHER engagement, this time outside M20, of all places! Iron tackled the shit out of a Drake that warped in around 70km from undock, we crushed it, and managed to pick off a Jaguar before we all got annihilated a second time!

So, we got a few more good fights from PEW, but the wars began to fizzle, and we devised a more fitting term of surrender:
- Shark's Alliance is responsible for supplying us with 200 Tristans and 100 Vexors every month.
- For May, the amounts are 1/4
- For June, the amounts are 1/2
- After that, the full amounts will be required.

In exchange, we agreed to set his Alliance blue to us, ending our ban on blues for this one exclusive situation. We will eventually pay for the ships, at a date later to be decided. But as of now, they owe us at least 3 deliveries of ships, for the mental anguish caused by the Christians.

In other news, my Tso's Timeline project is "finished." Meaning: more polish is to come, and I still wish to add a lot of details on each member's timelines, so a lot of feedback from the idiots will be required. My end goal is to convert it to some type of smooth, possibly flash-based, interactive piece on the new website ( Currently it is posted on MegaUpload, and updates will be posted here.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

New stations are amazing!

I downloaded the test server to experience the glory of CCP's next expansion and this was my first reaction

That's right, this patch blew my eyeballs out of my sockets.

When I stepped out of my glorious interceptor and onto my balcony I was greeted by this magnificent sight.

Isn't that just amazing! I decided to flick through my collection of mission ships to inspect the arse of each and every one of them.

I then continued my journey onwards to my quarters, no doubt furnished with the finest of goods in gratitude for my service to the Federation in her times of need. seems they must have misplaced the many gifts they sent me. All I have is this chair to...enter

Maybe something over here?

Fuck this shit. Better not fuck with my missions.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

It's a New War Record!

For fuck's sake...

Four wars. This is a new record for us. However, we did learn a nice little tidbit from Shark:

[ 2011.04.13 01:56:32 ] Brusanan > Lol. You spending your RL isk on Mercs now? :P
[ 2011.04.13 01:57:14 ] JustSharkbait > never
[ 2011.04.13 01:57:30 ] JustSharkbait > :)
[ 2011.04.13 02:08:36 ] JustSharkbait > 5 vs you guys was kind of rough. So i wanted to make it mutually fun.

He admitted to paying the Mercs, and knowing how "professional" Snatch Victory and The 0rphanage are, then I imagine the prices were more than the 2.1Billion we are ransoming Shark for.

After much discussion, and my glorious abilities of persuasion, I coaxed the information from him that we required. We weren't completely sure of what completely went down with the whole attempted corp theft, and the general consensus was that they were all in on it (most likely Euri, too). But after much discussion, it was deduced that Shark was mostly forced to accept Harbinger into his corp by Targamarr. Shark claims it was Harbinger that was working on his own, and it all seems to add up.

With this new information, nothing changes. We will continue to keep Shark's corp decced until he either pays up or kicks Harbinger, now that we know it was entirely him behind it all. The keeping of the ransom covers any chance that they might be still working together (however unlikely at this point), and kicking Harbinger could create enough tension between the remaining 2 members for their corp to be destabilized anyway.

On a personal comment towards the entire situation, Shark claimed he wanted to know what it was like to be CEO of a corp, that's why he left. He then ALSO claimed that he isn't responsible for the actions of his members, which is completely wrong. It makes no sense that an individual would want to be "in charge" for all the ego-boosting reasons, but not want to accept any of the responsibilities attached to that position. He pretty much wants immunity from the downsides of being a CEO, but wants the ability to boss people around, I guess. This is very typical of most people that rage from SMERG to "run a corp."

So, 4 wars. We are currently winning 2 of the 4, with no losses/kills in the other two, and made a combined campaign for the total of the 4 on our KB. Even with my Dominix loss that occurred before the Ad0pt war went live added into the losses (which CCP reimbursed me for due to a new CONCORD glitch), we are still up by a factor of 3.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Not Once, But Twice an Idiot

For fuck's sake...

I was just hanging out in the station in Seyllin, working on my glorious timeline project, when a tingling in the force told me to get to Ane. It was completely because of my glorious intuition that I shot out of station, into Ane, and grabbed an Obelisk on the other side of the gate. No one told me that there was one on scan, and this is beyond denial.

I called my useless Alliance into action, since it would be unfair of me to kill the entire ship on my own and claim the loot for myself. It was not outside my ability to solo the craft, being that everyone else would only slow me down, but I was feeling charitable on the eve of war.

I allowed Dark Drifter to get the most damage on the ship, so he wouldn't sob himself to sleep tonight on his boyfriend's shoulder. The aftermath.

Yes, it reads 2.2B ISK destroyed. It doesn't take into account the super-rare Interbus Shuttle that dropped, which is worth approximately 250M on contracts. In my haste, I forgot to run Fraps, as I often do when trying to motivate the useless members of my Alliance, but took some good screenies of the scene after the deed was done. I'll refrain from using my tactical crayon notation device.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

serpentis transport intercepted!

captins log stardate 080411-0320 UTZ

tonight i stoped a serpentis freighter from making it to ist final destination
the serpentis commander DAVIDSTUART was hauling illicit materials alegidly
used in the the proliferation of serpentis baces in SEYLIN and ANE

i was called in to action when my corperation leader BURSEG called over corperate comms channels that he had intercepted and tackled the accused but was unable to break its AWSOME tank. afraid that he would be attacked by serpentis reinforcements any seccond he begged my to risk my ABBADON class battleship to finish off the offending vessele.

CONFIRMED KILL 2.5bill in dammages

in short my tactical genious and undieing loyalty to the corperation enabled us to kill this mighty beyamoth as it lumbered away from the seyllin gate in ane.

end personal log

The Crusades Have Begun

For fuck's sake...

I think FDR said it best:

Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in no to marginal danger.
With confidence in our armed forces, with the unbounding determination of our people, we will gain the inevitable triumph. So help us Xenu.
I ask that General Tso's Alliance declare, that since the attempted corp theft and dastardly rage-quits by Justsharkbait, Harbinger, and Targamarr on Sunday, April 3rd, 2011, a state of war has existed between General Tso's Alliance and the United Seyllin Confederates.
Lol. Terms of surrender are to come.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

A Prelude to War

For fuck's sake...

Salid needed secstatus to prepare for our upcoming war. So we went to our awesome nullsec corner near BRT-OP. Justsharkbait in a Proteus, his signature failure ship:

and Targamarr in his equally awesome Purifier:

showed up. We (meaning I) gave them a taste of what is to come. However, Targamarr bombed myself, Salid, and his corpmate Shark, getting the finalblow.

 Thankfully Shark is API verified on Battleclinic, so the mail autoposted for us. It is now no longer one of the many terms of surrender we will have for them.

personal log anti serpemtis opperations report

dark drifters log:

S-DATE: 7:04:11 - 0114UTC

COMMS NODE: seyllin VIII-M14- creodron local station

personal entry:

today i uncouvered a serpentis outpost in the seyllin star system. being an upstanding member of the eve comunity i decided to rid local space of all hostile complexes.

the initial encounter with the serpentis task force was not vary challanging. i removed all the offending vessels from the pocket within 10 min.

:NOTE: contact SCC to place buy order for 100 batched of missiles :NOTE:

as i was mopping up the last of serpentis scum i recived a broken comms message to report to a refinery in ASCHEE. i could only assume at that time that it was ment for the captin of the tiieron that i had just destroyed.

anyhoo i followed this lead and after 3-4 seperate orders i was finaly roughted to the quadrent HQ witch was located in the FD-MLJ system.

again this complex was easily finished. apon killing the commander of the site i began to salvage the wrecks for potential good finds. to my supprise the commander was using special modules and had forgotten to place the blueprint for his vigilant class cruiser in safe storage.

all in all i came away from this adventure with :

corelum A-type medium armor repare

corelum A-type energised reactive plating

a 1 run vigilant BPC

5 shadow serpentis brass tags

5K shadow serpentis irridium charg

all in all a good day for me.

now off to save my corperations resident mission god. he seems to have accepted a faction mission and cant kill an abaddon class battleship. with his PROTUS


Monday, April 4, 2011

Seyllin Inquisition

For fuck's sake...

After Targamarr and Harbinger were convicted of crimes against SMERG and General Tso's, Targamarr raged from the corp altogether, dragging Harold Pitts with him. This prompted Justsharkbait to rage alongside his fellow Christian, since he clearly couldn't handle being commanded by a superiorly intelligent leader, myself. He has the typical syndrome that afflicts many people that have raged from the corp. They desire to be in command, but they don't realize they don't have the charisma to inspire underlings to follow them. This is a problem Dereekb, SeththeImmortal, David Shepard2, Comm Pic, and many many more have had. It usually results in them raging from SMERG, forming some bullshit corp, trying to recruit and failing miserably, then finally crawl back or just rage from EvE entirely.

But anyway, after those two raged, Harbinger asked for "his" blueprints back from the corp hangar. With great remorse I contacted Jade, and he explained that none of the blueprints were actually his. This was the last straw as far as his lying. So we purged:

Another noteworthy happenstance was the corp they all ended up in. It's some crap corp with a rip on the SMERG logo in an Alliance that has something mentioniing Seyllin.

So will we permadec them until they disband.

Friday, April 1, 2011

The Trials of Targamarr and Harbinger

For fuck's sake...

Apparently, when I removed Jade's roles a while back, I forgot to remove them from his alt, Harold Pitts. When he gave the toon to Targamarr, the roles carried over. Within days, this happened:

Which is really code for: HEY, I'M GOING TO STEAL ALL YOUR STUFF. Thankfully, I caught it before anything actually happened, despite 2 days passing.

We questioned both Targamarr and Harbinger about it, and BOTH denied doing it. Targ claims Harb used his computer to give himself the roles, and Harbinger claims he had no knowledge of being given the roles. So obviously, one of them is lying. So we called a trial.

It was conducted, with a LOT of facts, suppositions, evidence, bitching, whining, lolling, raging, finger pointing, (lies?), and of course, ball busting.

We voted, almost unanimously that they were both guilty of attempted corp theft.

The debate then began as to punishment. I decided, in my glorious benevolence, that perma-podding was a bit harsh and uncalled for in this scenario, since nothing actually happened. So I threw it to the idiots in the corp. A brilliant idea, I sadly have to admit, came from Yin. He put forth the punishment for an individual to be banished to slavery inside his C5 wormhole, where they'd have to complete a certain amount of complexes before being allowed out. The individual would not be permitted to bring any scanning equipment, or anything outside of their pods and would be supplied to materials required to function. The profits from their actions would be donated to the corp.

This sounded good at first, but another idea was put forward, from my own glorious mind: Banishment to a new SMERG Penal Colony corp.

The reason this is a suitable punishment is not only the tarnished employment history and 50% tax, but also a medal of shame, as per corp policy on medals.

More details will most likely come to surface, but this is all we have for now, with both members due to start their week-long punishment by Sunday night.

APRIL FOOLS! ... Seriously though, fuck you guys.

So about a month ago I decided it was time to form an industry corp (for a second time). This time I actually had the ambition to do some recruiting. Fortunately for me, Cortello, the first guy I managed to recruit was the former leader of a 500+ member alliance, and so he had way more ambition for recruiting and organizing things than I did. He had good standings with Gallente, so combined with my decent standing, we brought the corp's standing up to 5.0, high enough to anchor our highsec POS in Villore. Then he proceeded to recruit quite a few members, and he regularly organized group mining and plexing ops with them. Seriously, the corp never would have been successful without him.

A few weeks in the corp was doing really well. We got our POS, we got hundreds of millions worth of corp blueprints, we were nearing 20 members, the corp was making close to 5 mill a day from taxes (almost enough to cover POS fuel), and I was making anywhere from 30 - 75 mill per day for the corp by trading. The corp was much more successful than I had expected.

Then I got bored.

I decided a few days prior to this that I was done with the corp. Its original purpose was to help provide me with the resources I needed to make isk from invention and manufacturing without costing me too much out of my own pocket. I just wanted a corp so I had people pitching in for POS fuel and BPOs and stuff. It worked out well, but once I realized I could make more isk with much less effort just from station trading, that made my corp and everything/everyone in it unnecessary.

So I figured it was time to end the corp. We were at the point where just the corp's isk and assets alone were worth quite a bit more than what I had initially invested in the corp, due to isk I made for the corp from trading, taxes and some donations. Then I also had 300 - 400 mill worth of member-owned BPOs that I could steal whenever I wanted. And finally, there was Cortello's Kronos, which I estimated was worth somewhere between 1.2 and 1.5 bill, depending on whether or not he had fit his new T2 rig he was building (which he had not).

Right around the time I decided to target Cort's Kronos, he bought Dragon Age, and started playing that instead of Eve. I was looking for my chance to gank him for a couple days, but he wasn't running missions. Finally I decided to schedule a mission running op on Saturday, so I could guarantee a time where he would be there. It wasn't necessary though, because on Thursday night, March 31st, he asked me if I wanted to run some missions. My RR was ready to go, and so I figured it was the perfect time to go for it.

I caught him on on the gate before we warped into the first room. He wasn't really sure what was going on at first, but as soon as my RR landed on grid I spelled it out for him. I told him he was guaranteed to lose his Kronos, but if he ejected he and his fellow corpmates wouldn't lose their BPOs and other assets I had in my possession. He just said "You've got to be fucking kidding me.". I explained several times that he had less to lose by ejecting, but he still refused. In the end, Kronos assploded. It took forever due to my medium and small neuts, and like 150 DPS. If I didn't have RR, there is no fucking way I would have killed him in that shitty ship, with Dex's shitty skills. Props to Choobs, Burseg and Saggy for keeping me alive.

Cortello > dan leave the corp dex is a reader
Cortello > trader
Cortello > he's trying to kil me
Dextrust > *traitor
Danzrickar > well his main is a pvp type.
Cortello > no hes going to kill my ship
Cortello > come and see
Cortello > help me
Cortello > please
Cortello > im in Mirilene Solar System
Dextrust > Dan, if you come you will die too :P
Danzrickar > wait dex
Danzrickar > reall?
Danzrickar > why are you after him?
Dextrust > Yes
Cortello > bring some jamingf stuff
Cortello > u have to ecm him
Cortello > please hury
Cortello > fuck im going to loose my kronos
Cortello > fuck man im serious
Danzrickar > dude this tub is slow. takes time.
Cortello > please

A few of our members were absolutely convinced that it was an April Fools joke. I never planned for this to fall on April 1st, but it did, and it was fucking perfect. I couldn't have planned it any better.

Dextrust > o/ Dob
Dextrust > Happy April 1st
DobbianSaberion > good morning
DobbianSaberion > Thanks
Dextrust > The corp is closing.
DobbianSaberion > Well kick me then :)
Dextrust > No need. I'll kick everyone in time. Or they will leave.
DobbianSaberion > Since this is 1st of April
DobbianSaberion > I will stay all day
Dextrust > Yes, this is all one big april fools joke that Cort, Dan and I are playing on everyone.
DobbianSaberion > I would have fallen on it if you hadnt said happy 1st of april
DobbianSaberion > See you guys laterz
DobbianSaberion > Dex I am confused about the weekend op. Does it start 01:00 EVE time on saturday or sunday?
DobbianSaberion > or sunday
Dextrust > It doesn't. Weekend ops are canceled.
DobbianSaberion > You wrote a long mail and then cancelled it?
Dextrust > Yes
DobbianSaberion > Why?
DobbianSaberion > Can you stop the april fools joke already?
Dextrust > But april 1st just started
Dextrust > And nobody else has logged on yet.
DobbianSaberion > yes, but I want to know when the op is on saturday or sunday
DobbianSaberion > and since I've already seen through the joke, can you please tell me?
DobbianSaberion > I promise I wont tell
Dextrust > Op is cancelled.
DobbianSaberion > whatever
Cortello > my god, dobs is dense

And just to fuck with their heads a little more, I wrote a nice mail to the corp.

In the end I ran off with a fully researched Thorax and Vexor BPO, an unresearched Caracal BPO, an unresearched Vexor BPO, a Covert Cyno Field BPO, and a bunch of other BPOs. In total the BPOs added up to about 400 mill. The Kronos dropped about 200 - 250 mill worth of loot. I got an additional ~1.5 bill worth of isk and assets to sell, a lot of which was from isk that I had invested in the corp myself, and a lot of it was isk I had made for the corp from trading. In the end it was definitely a good investment.

Best April Fools joke ever.