Today.... General Tso's A Team did what no other previous Tso's Fleet could do.... execute a plan and lose no man.
It might come to a surprise that not all of Tso's members are useless. But there are a few good pilots which help keep this shitty Alliance on its feet.
After a long day of trying to keep our home system safe from being invaded by Ikarus, Spatus, Boron and the evil Sparticus Comrade; I noticed a large radiant ora of faggot-ness across our system. I scan around and notice we have a tyrant lurking around our asteroid belts.
This tyrant I speak of goes by the name of Aesari, one of the many faggots in our sister corp Zorz, who was discovered to not be a true faggot and therefor banished from Tso's.
As I was finishing my shift of patrolling the system, a ship appeared on my scanner. It was not just any ship...it was the indestructable, unbeatable, immortal....Drake.
As I scrambled to try and warp out I found myself having an anxiety attack and couldnt control myself and blacked out.
A few minutes after I regained consiousness, I noticed Aesari was
speaking an old language, thought to be extinct, known as the
'SmackTalkingNoob'. In fear of what I was hearing I managed to get back
to station and hide behind my couch.
As frightened as I was or anyone should be, I then decided to grow some ballz. By 'grow some ballz' I meant call upon my best students Bastilla and ColRelentless. Although not as experienced and having a much smaller dick than me, I decided it was time for them to prove themselves to me. I sent my n00b students into battle not knowing what they would face.
...after a few minutes of hearing my students cry for my help, I decided to teach them how to be useful and not become startled. I warp in screaming 'VIVA MEXICO' and within 2 seconds, maybe 3 at the most, I eliminate this faggot Aesari from existance.
Yes, Im sure by now you are aware that I am the single most useful person in this shitty Alliance. As for today, I once again proved that there is no I in team, except for my team. The A Team.
This is Saggy Ballz signing off saying fly safe and .l. for all.