Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Gospel of Eve, Pt. I: In Sago Veritas

Whenever you are lost in space, tired, damaged, alone, you can always take comfort to know that someone is watching you. It may not be a physical entity, or a friendly pilot but His eyes are watching you. But when you are down, broken, and all hope is lost, you can always count on one word of truth for guidance, salvation, hope: the Gospel of Eve.

Part I: In Sago Veritas (In Cloak There is Truth)

This is the Gospel according to Man0f0neWay...

1st letter to the members of General Tso's Alliance:

Take heed my friends! For I have traveled far and seen much. These are dark times upon us when the enemy roams freely within our lands. But fear not, for I am a man of learned stature who will not selfishly keep my knowledge to myself. I will pour my soul before you so that you may feast upon my bountiful counsel. For it is I who alone can provide a solution to our current dilemma.
We all know of the one who calls himself Colt45MaltLikka. The DEMON is among us! But be not afraid my shaken colleagues, for I have devised a plan to rid the land of this demon! There is risk, and there will be losses, but through the darkness, we shall overcome and seduce (italics denotes this word was scratched out from original manuscript) subdue and supplant our enemy! For I now know the strength of invisibility.
To begin any successful engagement, one must tackle one's enemy, put oneself all over him and force him into submission... man on man...

This statue was found in same room where manuscripts were found.

But that is a near impossible task to accomplish with a foe such as MaltLikka; even when we have an interceptor on our side. But I have finally fathomed a solution to our problem: cloaking. The reason he has evaded us so many times before is because he could see us cumming. But no more! My friends, one must fit a cloaking device to one's ship. But not any ship! An interceptor... That way we possess the cunning stealth of covert ops, while retaining the maneuverability and speed of an interceptor. And I know what you are thinking my dear comrades, "What about the targeting delay caused by decloaking?" Well, to that I say one must train cloaking up to level V, a must-have skill. That cuts the targeting delay time in half! The rest can be counterbalanced by the addition of sensor boosters. Who needs DPS when one has the advantage of stealth and speed? All one needs to do is sit upon the gate, cloaked in the darkness...

until the enemy arrives. I know, I know... The plan is ingenious and you feel envy over the fact that you were not the first to birth it, but my friends, I do not seek you jealousy over my enlarged killboard or my superior intellect. That is why I have chosen to share my knowledge with you, that you may one day implement it yourself and have the same success I have had.
Perhaps some day the word of Eve will speak to you too my dear companeros, but until then, I will do you all the favor of continuing to pass on the knowledge it has given me. Thanks Be to Eve. Remember, always: In sago veritas.

Your fearless comrade,


Transcribed by Lord SphinctAnus RectAnus


No comments:

Post a Comment