Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Gospel of Eve, Pt. III: Mors Collegii Contumeliosum Est

Whenever you are lost in space, tired, damaged, alone, you can always take comfort to know that someone is watching you. It may not be physical entity, or a friendly pilot but His eyes are watching you. But when you are down, broken, and all hope is lost, you can always count on one word of truth for guidance, salvation, hope: the Gospel of Eve.

Part III: Mors Collegii Contumeliosum Est (Taunting [Smack-Talking] is the death of a corporation)

This is the Gospel according to Timmah0...

1st letter to the members of General Tso's Alliance:

Snakes! Heathens! Mighty rage will rain down upon thee from on high!!!! You have made an enemy with a individual who commands mighty friends. I will not forget this insult! You will be hearing from my scores of minions!

You have made a powerful mistake, and for what? You claim you do not condone smack-talking but I have seen on countless occasions, the indecency between you and your own brethren. Man0f0neWay has taken most of the punishment you and your kind of dealt out! I feel his pain. But still, you claim to be innocent here in this matter.

I tell you, to talk smack is not only a privilege, it is a necessity in the Eve universe! But I understand if you are too frightened to do so. I laugh at your trepidation! I know that you cannot ever deliver on your threats and promises. Not one of you has the skills required to survive in this universe and that fact surrounds your entire alliance like a foul stench. I regret that I have every become part of your alliance of cowards.

That is why I challenged you to send your best fighter to me. We were to settle this in the most honorable way there is... A fight to the death.

But you obviously had other plans. Upon meeting Man0f0neWay on the field of battle, you attempted to spring your plan of deception upon me, but you failed. In the ensuing chaos, your own man fell to his doom.

I laugh at your failed attempt to assert your dominance. And I laugh at how, in your shame of losing this epic decisive battle, you kicked my corporation out of your alliance. You are all pathetic and weak and you have no heard the last of me. The smack talking will continue and you shall not be spared from it!

Your former comrade,

Transcribed by Lord SphinctAnus RectAnus


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