Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The Gospel of Eve, Pt. V: Nedum Celeriter Circumi!

Whenever you are lost in space, tired, damaged, alone, you always take comfort to know that someone is watching you. It may not be a physical entity, or a friendly pilot but His eyes are watching you. But when you are down, broken, and all hope is lost, you can always count on one word of truth for guidance, salvation hope: the Gospel of Eve.

Part V: Nedum Celeriter Circumi! (Orbit MUCH less quicklier!)

This is the Gospel according to Dark Drifter...

First letter to Man0f0neWay (a petition):

(Nota bene: Transcriber took extreme liberty with this translation, many words were horribly misspelled and there was an overabundance of the word "ut" in the original script which made no grammatical sense whatsoever.)

Brother! O Brother! What be floating around in that head of yours? Do not you understand what means keep at distance? For the love of the four-foot rooster in the donkey of mine(?), how more simple can these directions be? Instead of following in my rear, like all other men, you moved to go to orbit that which we not orbit go to do! To approach we were doing and break off at last second we were. But that you were like slow-brained monkey and moved out of formation. Brother, we beseech your stupidity. When we say follow, follow! At a range of five hundred meters you were to follow the lead. After many calls to return to us for you, still you react like dim-witted, fornicating man-lover and go against all orders. So brother, slowly spell out that which I am saying, so as you are to understand that which I mean: DO NOT (ut) LEAVE (ut) FORMATION, YOU (ut) BRAINLESS (ut) SWORD SHEATH(?)!

With sore anus,

Dark Drifter

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Transcribed by Lord SphinctAnus RectAnus

PERMITTE ME INDVCERE: DOMINVS SPHINCTANVS RECTANVS MIANI CONNECTICVTI SVM.

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