Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The Stench Has Been Lifted

For fuck's sake...

In the past few days, we've had massively successful raids into wormholes in our surrounding region. I wish our Griefwatch killboard's "engagement" function worked properly so I could give you a scale on the engagements, but I'll have to give small breakdowns of the fight with links to specific kills.

First, we went in from Erme, and I drew the attention of the 'hole dwellers by innocently proclaiming in local that I was lost and needed assistance, in addition to shooting at their Custom's Office... in a Vexor. This took a good 20 minutes or so before the single individual in the hole got his buddy on, a third scanning alt, and came to deal with my "threat." In this time I was drastically surprised that Colt45MaltLikka didn't scare them off, because despite his "ample" skills with Stealth Bombers, he managed to de-cloak randomly within scan range of the enemy POS.


Anyway, they landed on me with a Drake at range, and a Hurricane up close and personal. I did NOT last long. However, I did last long enough for the cavalry to arrive. In addition to my Vexor, we also lost Dark's Saber (no fault of his own), and Colt's Manticore (which we can chalk up to his ever-expanding Stealth Bomber loss pile), but managed to kill both the Battlecruisers, and their Helios alt, plus a couple pods.

Overall we won ISK-wise, but by a slim margin.

Next, we moved on to a pair of wormholes in Villore. One was occupied by the huge alliance SRS, and seemed moderately active, but nothing hanging in space. The other hole, however, had a bunch of AFK members at a tower, and a singular Mammoth cruising between Customs Offices. I commanded our mexican counterpart, Beaner (8inferno8) to take his interceptor in and kill the hauler, which was a massive success. Stage two went as predicted, the butthurt hauler pilot went back to the tower, overreacted and brought a "bigger" ship that was capable of taking the Crow threat, the go-to Hurricane. What he didn't realize, until it was too late, was that we entered the hole immediately as he entered warp. We landed on him long before he could kill his previous aggressor, and his Hurricane met the same fate as his Mammoth, as did his pod. We lost nothing, and fell back to Villore long before he could muster a decent response with the aid of his corpmates. Besides, he'd have to truck all the way back to the hole from k-space, LOLZ.

We attempted to get a fight from the SRS. guys, but it was futile. They we slightly more wise to w-space raiders and didn't think to fall for any bait. But, overall, the night was a success, filled with positive energy.

Speaking of positive energy! Moar stuff on teh test server is making Crucible 1.5 look pretty fucking awesome.

Assault ship rebalance:

New Invulnerability fields:

The old new Necon, and the ability for Alliances to enter FW: (lol, if ALL the member corps have >0.5 standing)

And another move towards "balancing" hybrids, by boosting Null:
So, more Satan-awesomeness on the horizon. I'm still patiently (read: checking mail several times a day, praying for invite) awaiting my invite to the Dust514: Mordu's Private Trails beta, and am hoping that its launch coincides with the Crucible 1.5 patch (allowing the Dev's to put ground-work into EvE to allow Dust to function on the server.)

Oh, and to jump back on the topic of wormholes and maintaining the positive emotions about the future of the game: Mary finally ragequit.... after what I imagine was an embarrassing moment of him searching for:

"Leaf Concentration"
"Live Concatenation"
"Lave Contradiction"
"Left Carpal Tunnel"
"Length Compaction"
"List Customization"

Before he asked his dad how to spell "Leave Corporation."



It took fucking long enough, but his stupid ass is finally gone. Not to give too much time talking about that shit head, but I'll give a breakdown of what happened that was the straw that broke the faggot's back.

We were doing the same wormhole raiding as we have been doing, but this time the scout was Mary. He sucked serious ass at it, using a stealth bomber to slowboat 100Km to a motionless Drake in a wormhole. Our fleet was ready to pounce, and Mary spoke his idea out loud:

"H---h--hey... I.... thi-think this g-g-g-guy is ss-s---tttttuck in here.. I'm... gun-n-n-na ranom him."

This was met by:

"NO!"
"FUCK YOU, FAGGOT"
"DON"T EVEN FUCKING THINK ABOUT IT!"
"FUCKING IDIOT"
"KILL YOURSELF"
"So, primary is Mary?"
etc.

He panicked, didn't notice where the Drake warped off to (it was the exit we were on, which lead to Erme), then proceeded to try and argue as if everything he did was correct (which has never been the case.) The Drake jumped into us, warped off with a friendly wave, and we proceeded to belittle Mary and bring up his many failures in this one engagement alone. His reponse:

"F--fine... why don't I just quit? Should I j-j-j-ust quit if you all hate m-m-me so much??"

Our reply (imagine 10 voices simultaneously screaming over voice comms in a glorious choir of hatred):

"YES!"



I have to admit, I'm going to miss hearing amazing statistics based on a sample size of 1, and analysis by Dr. BlahBlahblah. Not to be confused with the esteemed lawyer, Bob Loblaw.


1 comment:

  1. Shouldn't it be the "straw that split the faggot's anus"?

    ReplyDelete