Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The Gospel of Eve, Pt. VI: Blatta

Whenever you are lost in space, tired, damaged, alone, you always take comfort to know that someone is watching you. It may not be a physical entity, or a friendly pilot, but His eyes are watching you. But when you are down, broken, and all hope is lost, you can always count on one word of truth for guidance, salvation, hope: the Gospel of Eve.

Part VI: Blatta (The Cucaracha, aka, The Filthy Spic)

This is the Gospel according to Burseg Sardaukar...

First letter to Saggy Ballz:

(Nota bene: Transcriber did not change anything about this letter; all phrases and words from original author were kept for authenticity. Reader discretion is advised. In fact, the transcriber advises that no one read this letter. You have been warned.)

Fuck you, you lazy Spic! Tell me, O Mexican, what the fuck? You filthy, lazy Beaner. You had one task to perform, you taco-munching faggot. We decided to include you in our operation, because we though your lazy ass could prove useful to us for once. But no. Instead, rather predictably, you fell victim to your bloodline. Could you not tackle a ship if your life depended on it? And then, as we all charged ferociously into the space unknown, your lazy ass started dragging with a friction never before witnesses. For fuck's sake! If there was one thing I would think you would actually be good at, it would be crossing a border. But you fail at doing even the one thing your people are known for. Wait, I take that back. You do succeed at being lazy and living on welfare. But when it comes time to actually be useful, you seem to forget to pull the cock out of your ear. When we found you at the Home Depot, you said you were looking for work. You still haven't shown me anything to prove that statement. Now get off your lazy, burrito-fucking ass, and earn the mucho dinero you are receiving because you are a lazy Spic! FUCK YOU!

Still thinking of having you deported,

Burseg Sardaukar

P.S.
Vote Ron Paul. Oh yeah, that's right... You're an illegal Spic. Fuck you.

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Transcribed by Lord SphinctAnus RectAnus

PERMITTE ME INDVCERE: DOMINVS SPHINCTANVS RECTANVS MIANI CONNECTICVTI SVM.

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