Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Now that THE Op is Over

For fuck's sake...

Before I begin, I think I should take this time to cover a piece of General Tso's history for our readers. Play this while reading the scrawl part:

A long time ago, in the Thoulde Constellation of Essence Region...


A group of allies existed as part of a lowsec coalition known as "Pain Vault" consisting of several corporations, TKPRO, SMERG, DEP, JEDI, and others. They existed to fight the -10 groups of Hell's Rejects, Basgerin Pirates, Evil Alts, etc. TKRPO was the major PVP force in the area, but internal issues and desire to head to nullsec began the downfall of that corp. It wasn't long before SMERG and DEP were the major players in the area, with only a couple TKPRO members participating at all. It became quite apparent to SMERG, however, that they were carrying most of the fleets, with all the top damage of every engagement being racked up by the small, younger, corporation.

With the exodus of the "enemies" to regions unknown, and the absolute cave-in of TKPRO, SMERG decided to restructure its standings with the Pain Vault allies, understanding that very few "blues" offered anything in the way of PVP support, or even free ships to defend the  industry corps. We formed our own alliance (with offers to old Pain Vault members to join) and every other corp was reset, save DEP and JEDI, as they had always been supportive of SMERG in the past.

Before too long, DEP became as restless as TKPRO had been in our dead-end lowsec, and a lot of their members had grandiose dreams of life in nullsec, so there was little presence from them in Seyllin and Ane, aside from their POS's in Ane. One day they returned, and some of their noobs did not have properly configured overviews and shot at Yin, who was -10, but absolutely blue to DEP. We retaliated, in what I've (now) dubbed: The shot heard up my sphinct.


This was the first kill against our old-time friends, and they chose to take the side of some idiot noob over their long-time allies. They were then reset.

Over time they have joined much larger alliances in nullsec, and somehow convinced their members to come back into our little pocket of lowsec to harrass us, in some misguided attempt to vindicate their wrong stance many many months earlier. Here is a good breakdown of blog entries if you are interested in more of our insignificant (by nullsec standards) history:
But, I think this image sums it up (we are the mouse, it has AIDS... sucks for the turtle):

BDEAL (the alliance DEP joined) eventually fail-cascaded and a lot of the corps joined other alliances, including DEP joining Fatal Ascension (FA). And with Goons/TEST taking all of CFC to the south, they would bring FA with them. We, at first, wanted to take this window to finally remove DEP's only attachment to the area once and for all, their 4 POS's situated on 3 of the more valuable moons in Ane. I mandated that as soon as ten Dreadnought pilots were logged in, the Op would start, as setting scheduled times never works for SMERG. While we hit 8 pilots many times, we never managed to actually ring that important (read: arbitrary) "10" bell.

And then, a week or so back, I had a nice conversation with Killer Predator (KP), the (former-and-now-once-again) CEO of DEP. He informed me that he was forced from FA by their leadership, who gave KP an ultimatum: either he goes, or DEP goes. He didn't want to screw his corporation, so he bowed out. He also told me that things were rocky for DEP anyway, due to FA's obsession with K/D ratios and killboard epeen-ness (word?). And it wasn't long before DEP was out of FA, and the moment we realized this (read: 3 days before this blog post) we rallied every imaginable motherfucker we could and put all 4 towers of DEP's into reinforced. 

Big win.

We then used our new "Alliance Bounty" system to place 3 Billion ISK on the destruction of all 4 towers, ensuring the assholes in Tso's would actually show and finish this shit once and for all. And show they did.


But I'm sure some day DEP will once again get some big brother to fix the problems they can't; and claim the victory for themselves. Our future, picture below:

But the thing about SMERG/Tso's... we are a lot like herpes. Just when you think we are gone, we spring our disgusting faces out right as that hot guy from the bar is about to go down on you.

Monday, July 16, 2012

80mill Catalyst

One may ask what could make a Catalyst worth 80mill?
  • Add faction mods wrong
  • Add t2 rigs wrong
  • Add an ass-ton of faction ammo   wrong

Give up yet?
Well Charles Issier did find a way, with 4 implants in his ship he headed off to battle.
He knew that he was going to die, so why did he do it "I thought I undocked in my Incursus"says Charles Issier.
Here is the horrid prof:  KillMail
Please harass and remind him each and every time you see him.

Spy for hire,
Xion Ellecon

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

The rambling of noobs notepad 1

"Charles Issier > i wish you could just slam your ship into the hulks and then self dirstruct"
EVE just slam your ship in to the enemy. 
"Fightback > just had too much personal stuff going on irl and couldn't keep up with the game"
He has lost my vote, this in no "game" this is a corp of businessmen in the field of asset relocation and wallet liberation.
"What I can't make a copy of a copy?"
What do you think this is the 21 century, we don't have the technology to copy a copy?

"There was a flash of light around my ship then I was back at a station did I level up?"
No comment.

Spy for hire,
Xion Ellecon

A Sad Day For Smerg

Long time deserter of SMERG Lord AlBannII  for the first time to date.
Lord AlBannII the once all time worst fits men in New Eden evaded his certain destruction, and baffled the attacking SMERGS.
What allowed him to escape was the target spectrum breaker that was equipped on his dominix.
But that was not all not only did he escape once he warped back and allowed us to attack him again.

 Update: Lord AlBannII has rejoined SMERG, for the lone reason of not being shot at by us.

Spy for hire,
Xion Ellecon

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Incursions Are Trusting Places

For fuck's sake...

I'll never understand why players trust other players in EVE. Like all those that fall for trade window scams, or loot from a can that says "free stuff," or assume that their Hulk won't get suicide ganked in hisec...

Well, another form of idiocy comes from those that do the group PVE events known as Incursions. The Vanguards (the second smallest) are meant to be run with fleets from 6 to 10 ships in size, with 3 logistics. This requires a lot of trust, which can usually be found in decent corporations (or shitty ones like us, but at least there's some honor among the scumbags).

Where the problem stems from are those individuals that don't have Incursion-running corps or skilled members in their corps. They are forced to rely on hopefully joining random fleets, hoping to get their cut of the profits and then hope to be remote-repaired by the logistics when the couple thousand DPS comes pouring in. There is a lot of hope there. And this is what we exploit.

So, this guy, below, was asking for an armor fleet (LFAF). With that fit that he linked.

We did what any awesome corp would do: Invited him to fleet, then warped out of the Incursion as soon as the next wave of enemies spawned... warp scramming the noob and killing him as we lol'd away. I caught his pod on scan on the warp back in, confirming his ship died.

Then he further confirmed it with his reaction in fleet chat:

Salid then tried to recruit the guy, as is customary for our alliance, and he revealed his true butt hurt level, which was clearly around 9002:

I wonder which coalition he speaks of. Could it be Clusterfuck Coalition (CFC)?

No, I'm assuming he means the Coalition of the Willing. Image related?