Monday, February 4, 2013
today i write to you as a humble EVE player who has come to an impasse.
no im not considering quitting our beloved game. but i am seriously
considering giving myself a home labotimy just so that i can actually
stoop to the level of retardidness that that some members of my corporation
went to last night.
it all started with our esteemed leader Burseg Sardaukar who suggested that we fuck
with a known LOGISTICS ABUSER and kill his NEUT LOGI. at this point neither me nor him had any idea how our corp would ultimately let us down.
we decided that the best tactic was to use out "tested" VEXORS fits to get aggression on the suspect. who was initially flying in an ENYO class gallente assault-ship whilst we was on grid the suspect had already managed to pop other locals ships. namely:
AMARR NAVY SLICER (amarr faction frigate)
ISHKUR(gallanet drone assault-ship)
SLASHER (minmatar frigate)
Burseg however assumed (wrongly) that our superior noobs would prevail and relive this suspect
of his ship. our fleet consisted of
5 (7) hulls:
2 NAGAS (sniper fitted)-(1 WO aggression for logi detail, me)
1 BLACK BIRD
1 FALCON (logi jam detail WO aggression, burseg)
Burseg had the VEXORS and ISHKUR engage the suspect on station. this ultimatly failed because the target was able to move at around 2.8kms where as our fleet had a top speed of about 1kms.
the target easily kited the fleet and docked up in DODIXIE moon 20 station. he had at 3 of our
fleet locked in limited engagements (or so me and burseg thaught)
with in seconds he undocked from the station in an ASTARTE class command-ship and preceded to
kill a "sniper fitted" NAGA that was sat on the undock, with agression and weapons lock might i add.
when the primary VEX/ISHKUR trio landed on the ASTARTE he de-agressed and we assumed that he would dock again. well that was a wrong assumption. he re- aggressed the now separated RR VEXORS (now about 8km apart, medium RRs have a max range of about 6km) and killed both in about 30 seconds. the he stated on the ISHKUR. luckily for me and Burseg the pilot of the ISHKUR was new to the corporation and was listening vary carefully (sucking Bursegs dick) and under direction was able to escape the grasp of the ASTARTE and live.
so far the score was ASTARTE 3 : fleet 0
BUT WAIT THAT'S NOT ALL!!!!
after 60 seconds the ASTARTE docked up and we assumed (wrongly again) that this was then end of the fight. the suspect however still had one limited engagement that he could play with.
enter KAPHINE stage left. this idiot had agresed the ASTARTE pilot, now in a TORNADO class battle-cruiser in his BLACK BIRD (a jamming ship) the target moved to about 28km off of our
B-TEAMER and engaged. the BLACK BIRD was melting fast when he excitedly exclaimed in ventrillo that he had managed to jam the target and was warping out. HOWEVER the fucking idiot was hugging the station (model) and had picked a celestial that was on the far side of the station
so surprise surprise his ship started spanning out on the station trying to align in to the station for warp then is jam cycle missed and well the rest is history.
i recommend the following names be forever inscribed in to the B-TEAM stone.
BRUSANAN for losing his alt in a "SNIPER" naga on station with aggression
KAPHINE for trying to warp through a station, not keeping in range of his LOGISTICS partner
SELINE (PL SPY) for also not keeping in range of this LOGISTICS partner
RECOMENDATION: DADY FATSACK for keeping his cool whilst his fleet melted around him and still managing to take instruction resulting in the survival of his ISHKUR
AND IN OTHER NEWS:
there has been a sharp rise is the BUNNI population as DUST 154 has gone in to open BETA
we in SMERG have embraced these furry ballz of fun and have also dipped our fingers in the sticky goo that is DUST 514. check out our member list people (overt SPY info coming up)
well that was a bad dream what was this narrator talking about that not how i recall the battle of DIXM20... i have a headache. time for sleep i think.